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April Is National Quiz Month! By Peter Filichia

Did you know that April is National Quiz Month? And in that spirit, we’re going to make what T.S. (Cats) Eliot called “the cruelest month” happier with some happy-go-lucky quizzes.

For this Tuesday and the other three during this rainy month, you’ll be given a plethora of quotations that are lyrics or lines found on original, revival or studio Broadway AND off-Broadway cast albums.

To make it easier on you, I’ve arranged them in chronological order. So if you recognize a quotation from 1991 and one from 1993 two quotations down, you’ll have a good idea that the one in the middle is probably (but not necessarily) from 1992.

Each of this month’s quizzes will have a theme. This week’s subject is “The Honorific” – which, as the dictionary informs us, is “a title or word implying or expressing high status, politeness or respect.”

Many a musical is on a first-name basis with its leading lady (Annie, Fanny, Gigi, Juno, Mame) or leading man (Candide, Jimmy, Oliver, Purlie). But plenty of lyrics and lines are peppered with honorifics.

Here are fifty from both Broadway and off-Broadway musicals. From what songs and shows do they spring? You may send me your answers at [email protected] And even if you don’t, you’ll see the answers next Tuesday when they follow our second April quiz.

1. “You’re an old Dutch master; you’re Mrs. Astor.”

2. “No wonder Mr. Goldwyn made a bid.”

3. “A flower for Miss Elliott; tribute to her splendor.”

4. “Mr. Harris, plutocrat, wants to give my cheek a pat.”

5. “But Mrs. McCloskey ain’t a good scout.”

6. “Howdjado, Mrs. Mezzanine?”

7. “Mister, you can be a hero.”

8. “Bye, Mr. Moon – bid me goodbye!”

9. “I can see her now: Mrs. Freddy Eynsford-Hill.”

10. “You’re no friend to Marryin’ Sam if your name is ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam.’”

11. “Miss America can just resign.”

12. “Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce.”

13. “Mrs. Phi Beta Kappa Peterson.”

14. “Climb ev’ry mountain to find your Mr. Snow.”

15. “I’ve a hobby: I play gin with Mr. Bratt.”

16. “You’d think at least ‘Miss M’ they could try.”

17. “Dear Miss Shlumpfert, you’ve been such a comfort.”

18. “Mr. Gaily, take a bow!”

19. “What do you call assisting Mr. Stanley?”

20. “Mademoiselle, where in hell can you be?”

21. “And finally, in the category ‘It’s Your Choice,’ the winner is Mrs. Phyllis Duncan.”

22. “To make with the words about the missus-to-be when what you think is an empty heart is full.”

23. “Madam, Adam will be overjoyed.”

24. “I also hope to explore the personality of Mr. MacGregor in his conflicting roles as farmer and humanitarian.”

25. “It’s ‘Walk, Don’t Run.’ I just kill time till Mr. Kirkeby’s done.”

26. “Just me, Mr. Preacher and you.”

27. “Here he is – Mr. Whiz.”

28. “Like ‘Hiya, Miss,’ ‘Hiya, Sir,’ ‘May I take your order, please?’”

29. “I could stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right.”

30. “Madame! I have been designated by Gaston.”

31. “You’re one hell of a mademoiselle: you taught us all to dance.”

32. “And, honest, mister ¬– I’m a millionaire.”

33. “Mr. Karp said ‘Very good!’”

34. “I love you, Miss Hannigan!”

35. “Hello, old friend! Hello, Mr. Money!”

36. “‘Is your knife dull, sir?’ or ‘Madam wants what with her meat?’”

37. “Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.”

38. “Mr. Craig, before you say something more, let me tell you something straight out.”

39. “‘Yes, Miss Bzzz?’”

40. “No, look over there, Miss. That’s done with green.”

41. “Grandmother first; then Miss Plump. What a delectable couple.”

42. “There’s lots of smirking motel clerks who call me ‘Mrs. Smith.’”

43. “And a wardrobe to choke Mrs. Astor’s pet horse.”

44. “Mr. and Mrs. George Widener may proceed to Promenade Suite B-51.”

45. “Then I went and married Mr. Harry Thaw, eccentric millionaire.”

46. “I’m off to your place for a date with Mr. Clean.”

47. “How I met a swell named Mr. Black.”

48. “Pay no attention to Mr. Smarty – he’s full of beans and banana oil.”

49. “‘Fast speaking secret agent’ – Mr. Moto!”

50. “Mr. Whooffles, we’re Boston-bound!”

You may e-mail Peter at [email protected] Check out his weekly column each Tuesday at www.masterworksbroadway.com and each Friday at www.kritzerland.com. His new book, Strippers, Showgirls, and Sharks – a Very Opinionated History of the Broadway Musicals That Did Not Win the Tony Award is now available at www.amazon.com.