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The Making of No

Our Final April Quiz By Peter Filichia

We’re nearing the finish line of April – also known as National Quiz Month. That’s why I’ve been spending the last three Tuesdays – and this one, too – giving you a quiz that asks you to identify lines and lyrics from various Broadway and off-Broadway musicals.

Last week, the quiz centered on relatives. Scoring well on the test were Steve Bell, Susan Berlin, Jason Flum, Ed Glazier, Charles Kirsch, Robert LoBiondo, Arthur Robinson, Donald Tesione and Rick Thompson.

And here are the answers:

1. “She’s going to visit her grandmother in Trenton, New Jersey” (“Finaletto Act One” – No, No, Nanette)

2. “Like a straying baby lamb with no mammy and no pappy.” (“Glad to Be Happy” – On Your Toes)

3. “Don’t you know your momma has a heart of gold?” (“That Terrific Rainbow” – Pal Joey)

4. “She lost one dad and mother, a sister and a brother.” (“The Saga of Jenny” – Lady in the Dark)

5. “Many a likely lad does what he can to woo her from her faithful dad.” (“Soliloquy” – Carousel)

6. “My uncle down in Texas can’t even write his name.” (“Doin’ What Comes Natur’lly” – Annie Get Your Gun)

7. “But, sister, here’s the menace.” (“Necessity” – Finian’s Rainbow)

8. “Of course, I’m awf’lly glad that mother had to marry father.” (“I Hate Men” – Kiss Me, Kate)

9. “She’s my baby. I’m her pap.” (“Honey Bun” – South Pacific)

10. “The one you call your daddy ain’t your paw.” (“A Little Girl from Little Rock” – Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)

11. “Poppa’s not president since maybe tonight.” (“Growing Pains” – A Tree Grows in Brooklyn)

12. “You can meet your Uncle Max and everyone you know.” (“Hernando’s Hideaway” – The Pajama Game)

13. “Brother, you can’t go to jail for what you’re thinking.” (“Standing on the Corner” – The Most Happy Fella)

14. “My father came from Rovno Gubernya.” (“I Am Easily Assimilated” – Candide)

15. “Country butter, eggs by the dozens, gettin’ grabbed by all the cousins.” (“On the Farm” – New Girl in Town)

16. “My grandpa’s always plastered.” (“Gee, Officer Krupke” – West Side Story)

17. “If you want to have attractive children.” (“Don’t Marry Me” – Flower Drum Song)

18. “I haven’t got a godmother. I’ve got a mother.” (“Happily Ever After” – Once Upon a Mattress)

19. “Come on, poppa, whaddaya say?” (“Some People” – Gypsy)

20. “You may fool your brothers and all of those others, but, sister …” (“You’re Not Fooling Me” – 110 in the Shade)

21. “And such a son-in-law like no one ever saw.” (“The Tailor Motel Kamzoil” or “Teyve’s Dream” – Fiddler on the Roof)

22. “Safe from disaster; no one haster take care of ma and pa.” (“Wait Till We’re 65” – On a Clear Day You Can See Forever)

23. “Nanny smelled of Clorox, and boarding school was hell.” (“Revenge” – It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman)

24. “And please, my sweet patater: keep this from the mater.” (“Don’t Tell Mama” – Cabaret)

25. “My mother’s Uncle Herbert from the institute.” (“All the Dearly Beloved” – I Do! I Do!)

26. “And for the mayor’s favorite niece.” (“The Slice” – Hallelujah, Baby!)

27. “A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam.” (“Yankee Doodle Dandy” – George M!)

28. “I got million-dollar charms, cousin.” (“I Got Life” – Hair)

29. “They fired. Oh, ma, did we run.” (“Momma, Look Sharp” – 1776)

30. “And, brother, there’s a lot of ways of swinging a bat.” (“Skinnin’ a Cat” – Purlie)

31. “My niece from Ohio.” (“Have I Got a Girl for You” – Company)

32. “‘Take me to Granny tonight.’” (“Go Visit” – 70, Girls, 70)

33. “Ordinary mothers lead ordinary lives.” (“The Glamorous Life” – A Little Night Music)

34. “The garden mama used to tend may now be overgrown.” (“The Only Home I Know” – Shenandoah)

35. “As I once remarked to father whom I disappointed rather.” (“Why Can’t We All Be Nice?” – Goodtime Charley)

36. “All thanks to sis, now married and fat.” (“I Can Do That” – A Chorus Line)

37. “Four eyes are better than two, brother.” (“Two Heads Are Better Than One” – The Robber Bridegroom)

38. “Do only what you’d do with mother in the room.” (“Repent” – On the Twentieth Century)

39. “Girls have come and gone, papa.” (“With Anne on My Arm” – La Cage Aux Folles)

40. “I’m just quoting mama.” (“Children and Art” – Sunday in the Park with George)

41. “At the end of the path was granny once again.” (“I Know Things Now” – Into the Woods)

42. “With three Rockettes and the mayor’s niece.” (“Naked in Bethesda Fountain” – My Favorite Year)

43. “That’s thirty times a week, fifty weeks a year, ’cuz I always visit mama at Christmastime.” (“The Oldest Profession” – The Life)

44. “Why is the smart son always the gay son?” (“Family History” – A New Brain)

45. “And though her daddy is in sulphur and her mommy is insane, still there’s no doubt she’s coming out.” (“Scintillating Sophie” – A Class Act)

46. “That’s just what my parents told me when I was a kid.” (“The Money Song” – Avenue Q)

47. “My ma tells me ‘No,’ but my feet tell me ‘Go!’” (“Good Morning, Baltimore” – Hairspray)

48. “Have to kiss your aunts and watch your zayde dance.” (“Today You Are a Man” – The Wedding Singer)

49. “Makes you insecure, makes you so unsure, is so immature, loves his mother more.” (“The History of Wrong Guys” – Kinky Boots)

50. “I think we’ll have some fun here: your mom and you and me.” (“Hey, Kid” – If/Then)

Now onto the last one: Broadway has always celebrated stars – including those who haven’t deigned to perform there.

Here are fifty stars that have been mentioned in both Broadway and off-Broadway musicals. From what songs and shows do they spring? To make it easier on you, I’ve arranged them in chronological order from the show’s first major opening date. So if you recognize a quotation from 1961 and one from 1963 two quotations down, you’ll have a good idea that the one in the middle is probably (but not necessarily) from 1962.

1.“You’re Garbo’s salary.”

2. “Exactly the kind that’s worn by Mae West.”

3. “Who the hell is Margie Hart?”

4. “Mister Gable – I mean Clark.”

5. “I miss Marilyn Miller in Sunny.”

6. “I attended Call Me Madam and shortly began to nestle Essel (sic) Merman.”

7. “Moss Hart and Danny Kaye! Sir Laurence Olivier!”

8. “What’s your opinion of women’s clothes? Major Bowes?”

9.“I sure had to hassle and hustle buying tickets for Rosalind Russell.”
10. “If Ava Gardner played Godiva riding on a mare.”
11. CHORUS: “Raymond Massey!” SHE: “Lassie!”
12. “Just suppose I invited Sammy Davisup to dine.”
13. “Hula-hoops and nuclear war; Dr. Salk and Zsa Zsa Gabor.”

14. “I’m not Fanny Brice.”

15. “I’ll be more Español than Abbe Lane.”

16. “Charles Boyer kissing Hedy.”

17. “Joe DiMaggio! Sal Mineo!”

18. “When I’m necking – simply pecking – with a Cary Grant.”

19. “Mary Astor, meet your master.”

20. “Elizabeth Taylor to husbands in review.”

21. “Hustle and bustle and Lillian Russell.”

22. “Shirley Temple stole it as the flower girl.”
“Ninety minutes of Doris Day.”

24. “To start each morning by giving out with a Rudy Vallee squeal.”
25. “I don’t love Bardot.”

26. “Sophia Loren and Lollabrigida could walk through the door and they’d only get frigida.”

27. “Not the Barrymore trio or Dolores Del Rio.”

28. “I got through Abie’s Irish Rose; Five Dionne Babies.”

29. “Lucille Ball is very tall.”

30. “Would you try that crap with Annette?”

31. “But nothing beats the music of the great Glenn Miller.”

32. “Lena Horne’s a joy, and that Belafonte boy.”

33. “Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes.”

34. “And Sophie Tucker’ll shit, I know, to see her name get billed below.”

35. “Robert Goulet, out! Steve McQueen, in!”

36. “My bowl of red wax cherries; a wig of Ellen Terry’s.”

37. “So Lauren Bacall me.”

38. “Do you know Rona Barrett?”

39. “I’ll get Leontyne Price to sing her medley from Meistersinger.”

40. “Think of John Wayne and Jean-Paul Belmondo.”

41. “And even Clara Bow will admit I got ‘It.’”

42. “Jolson’s coming, too?”

43. “Some season soon Tommy Tune may rehearse ya.”

44. “I think it’s Maury Povich – and Connie, too!”

45. “Fred and Adele never glided so well.”

46. “And Evelyn gets publicity.”

47. “You can start with a bagel and end up with Conrad Nagel.”

48. “You hate Tom Cruise, but you love Lee Marvin.”

49. “I’m the German Ethel Merman, don’t you know?”

50. “Helen Hayes and Bernhardt all in one.”

You may send me your answers at [email protected]. And even if you don’t, you’ll see the answers on next Tuesday.

Peter Filichia also writes a column each Monday at and each Friday at His book The Great Parade: Broadway’s Astonishing, Never-To-Be Forgotten 1963-1964 Season is now available at