For New Year’s Eve Stay-at-Homes
By Peter Filichia —
As that famous Frank Loesser song asked, “Here is the jackpot question in advance: what are you doing New Year’s Eve?”
Most will party, but many know that it’s a good night to stay in and do comparatively nothing. Sometimes Dec. 31 can mean panic in the streets – which might very well be why Turner Classic Movies is showing the 1950 film Panic in the Streets just as 2011 turns into 2012.
So for those stay-at-homes who won’t be getting inebriated at someone’s party, here’s a nice placid way to spend your evening: by taking a quiz that deals with all the liquor and liqueurs that you won’t be drinking.
The forty examples that follow are lyrics that at least tangentially deal with liquor imagery. From which show and song do they come?
Come! I’ll make it easier for you. All the examples are listed in alphabetical order, literally from A-to-Z, by the name of the musical.
Figuring out all forty might take the entire night and bring you into 2012. But if you’re really stumped, the answers are provided at the bottom. We wouldn’t want your head to be so rattled that you’d start the new year feeling as if you’d had a hangover.
1. “Cocktails for two! / I drink Coca-Cola!”
2. “And when it does, from the mountain where he wuz, he’ll be coming with a jug of moonshine.”
3. “Some say it was your voice had gone; some say it was booze.”
4. “Then I’m gonna slip back on the shelf, have a little nip and tell myself.”
5. “I’ll drink tequila ‘til I feel no pain.”
6. “Well, that’s what comes from too much pills and liquor.”
7. “We’ll round the world enjoying high life; all will be pink champagne and gold.”
8. “I know a whoopee spot where the gin is cold but the piano’s hot.”
9. “Dumb – and with a weakness for Sazerac Slings. You give her even the fruit and she swings.”
10. “When you’re dyin’ for some rye, remember: refrain!”
11. “No alcoholic Swedes, no double-dealing Russians, no Spaniards with their beads and their deafening discussions.”
12. “We’ll raise a glass and drink a drop of schnapps in honor of the great good luck that favored you.”
13. “Milk and beer and Seven-Up and Drambuie.”
14. “She sits at the Ritz with her splits of Mumms.”
15. “Sherry! Campari! Scotch whiskey! Chartreuse! A cognac! An absinthe frappe!”
16. “Bless you, alcohol bloodstream. Save me, nicotine lung steam.”
17. “From teacher to pupil, and Michelob to Blatz.”
18. “Yet there’s that slam-bang tang reminiscent of gin and vermouth.”
19. “Ev’ryone meet Idaleh, a mameleh of mine. What can it hurt, Idaleh, a glass Passover wine?”
20. “I’d have to get drunk every night to talk about virility with some old grandmother who might be decked out like a Christmas tree, and tho’ pink elephants I’d see, I’d sing the song they sang to me.”
21. “Alexander: with crème de cocoa mixed with rum.”
22. “Mister Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.”
23. “We indulge each change in your mood. Come and sip your Dubonnet in the nude.”
24. “What once was a rare champagne is now just an amiable hock.”
25. “Fill the punch bowl! Throw confetti!”
26. “No more writing clever little shows for those basement saloons.”
27. “Can I fix you a quick martini? As a matter of fact, I’ll have one with you.”
28. “You seldom see him drinkin’ in a barroom unless somebody else is buyin’ drinks.”
29. “Make the queen of bees hot as brandy.”
30. “I wind my pocket watch. We serve white wine.”
31. “Make it wet, make it dry. Straight up! On ice! That’s cool! Highball, low ball, we love it all!”
32. “Drinking Cointreau with salt beef and mustard is of course gastronomically wrong.”
33. “Who sails the ships out of Boston laden with bibles and rum?”
34. “High as a flag on the Fourth of July.”
35. “But fortunately, it’s also clear that everybody goes down well with beer.”
36. “With the pie-eyed piper blowing, while the muscatel was flowing, all the cats were go-go-going.”
37. “The trouble is he’s lazy. The trouble is he drinks.”
38. “Me? Give me a bottle of bourbon and half a chicken and I’ll conquer the world!”
39. “What do you think of our double malts, fam’ly vaults, Epsom salts?”
40. “We were sitting drinking vodka in this waterfront café. I could tell he was a Turk, but I liked him, anyway.”
ANSWERS:
1. All-American: “Melt Us”
2. Annie Get Your Gun: “Moonshine Lullaby”
3. Assassins: “The Ballad of Booth”
4. Barnum: “Thank God I’m Old”
5. Bye Bye Birdie: “Spanish Rose”
6. Cabaret: “Cabaret”
7. Candide: “Oh, Happy We”
8. Chicago: “All That Jazz”
9. Company: “Have I Got a Girl for You”
10. Damn Yankees: “The Game”
11. Do I Hear a Waltz? : “This Week, Americans”
12. Fiddler on the Roof: “To Life.”
13. Flower Drum Song: “Chop Suey”
14. Follies: “Uptown/Downtown”
15. Grand Hotel: “We’ll Take a Glass Together”
16. Hair: “Air”
17. Here’s Love: “Here’s Love”
18. How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying: “I Believe in You”
19. I Can Get It for You Wholesale: “Family Way”
20. Jacques Brel Is Alive and Well and Living in Paris: “Jackie”
21. Jamaica: “Napoleon”
22. Kiss Me, Kate: “Always True to You in My Fashion”
23. La Cage aux Folles: “La Cage aux Folles”
24. A Little Night Music: “Liaisons”
25. Mame: “It’s Today”
26. Merrily We Roll Along: “It’s a Hit!”
27. New Faces of 1952: “Guess Who I Saw Today?”
28. Oklahoma! : “The Farmer and the Cowman”
29. On a Clear Day You Can See Forever: “Hurry! It’s Lovely up Here!”
30. Pacific Overtures: “A Bowler Hat”
31. Raisin: “Booze”
32. The Roar of the Greasepaint — The Smell of the Crowd: “Things to Remember”
33. 1776: “Molasses to Rum”
34. South Pacific: “A Wonderful Guy”
35. Sweeney Todd: “A Little Priest”
36. Sweet Charity: “Rhythm of Life”
37. West Side Story: “Gee, Officer Krupke”
38. The Wild Party: “Look at Me Now”
39. Wonderful Town: “Conga!”
40. Zorba: “The First Time”
Meanwhile, thanks to all for reading what I write. Here’s hoping for a happy, prosperous and peaceful 2012 for all of us.
Peter Filichia also writes a column each Friday at www.kritzerland.com;. His books on musicals are available at Amazon.com.
